Tags: Humor, Spiegel
Hitler visits a lunatic asylum. The patients give the Hitler salute. As he passes down the line he comes across a man who isn’t saluting.
“Why aren’t you saluting like the others?” Hitler barks.
“Mein Führer, I’m the nurse, I’m not crazy!” comes the answer.
Hitler and Göring are standing on top of Berlin’s radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to cheer up the people of Berlin. “Why don’t you just jump?” suggests Göring.
“A senior Nazi visits a factory and asks the manager whether he still has Social Democrats among his workforce.
“Yes, 80 percent,” comes the reply.
“Do you also have members of the Catholic Center Party?” “Yes, 20 percent,” the manager responds.
“Don’t you have any National Socialists?”
“Yes we’re all Nazis now!”
“Göring has attached an arrow to the row of medals on his tunic. It reads ‘continued on the back.'”
“Two Jews are about to be shot. Suddenly the order comes to hang them instead. One says to the other “You see, they’re running out of bullets.”
Two men meet. “Nice to see you’re free again. How was the concentration camp?”
“Great! Breakfast in bed, a choice of coffee or chocolate, and for lunch we got soup, meat and dessert. And we played games in the afternoon before getting coffee and cakes. Then a little snooze and we watched movies after dinner.”
The man was astonished: “That’s great! I recently spoke to Meyer, who was also locked up there. He told me a different story.”
The other man nods gravely and says: “Yes, well that’s why they’ve picked him up again.”
“My father is in the SA, my oldest brother in SS, my little brother in the HJ (Hitler Youth), my mother is part of the NS women’s organisation, and I’m in the BDM (Nazi girls group).”
“Do you ever get to see each other,” asks the girl’s friend?
“Oh yes, we meet every year at the party rally in Nuremberg!”
“What does it mean when the sky is black? There are so many aircraft in the air that the birds have to walk.”
The German army HQ receives news that Mussolini’s Italy has joined the war.
“We’ll have to put up 10 divisions to counter him!” says one general.
“No, he’s on our side,” says another.
“Oh, in that case we’ll need 20 divisions.”
“What will you do after the war?”
“I’ll finally go on a holiday and will take a trip round Greater Germany!”
“And what will you do in the afternoon?”