Young Ahmad was a naive young lad who always wanted to be a suicide bomber. He really fancied the idea of seventy two virgins in Paradise, although he did enjoy raisins as well. He went off to Iraq where he learnt to drive a truck. Then those devious Iraqis asked him to drive a gasoline truck, and when he was halfway down the street they blew it up, causing him terrible injuries.
Fortunately that kind Prince Nayif had him repatriated to Saudi Arabia. He got a nice hospital bed and a bunch of flowers. He even appeared on TV. Sadly, though, his wounds worsened, and gangrene set in. Eventually, the doctors had to amputate all four limbs.
When he recovered, the government found him a two-room apartment in Jeddah, and gave him a small allowance. But he lived a sad and reclusive existence, fed by the pizza delivery service, and dreaming of the martyrdom that would now never be his.
One day a kindly neighbor took pity on him, and on his way to work, drove Ahmed to the beach and carried him down onto the sand. And there Ahmed gazed with melancholy at that big fountain in the bay, and listened to the sound of the children happily playing.
After a while, a passing lady spotted him, and (this being Jeddah and therefore more relaxed than Riyadh), came over to have a word. He looked so sad and helpless, that she asked him “Tell me, young man, have you ever been hugged?”
Ahmed shook his head.
So she leant down, gave him a little hug, and went away.
A bit later, another lady saw him and came over.
“Tell me, young man, have you ever been kissed?”
Again Ahmed shook his head.
So she leant down, gave him a little kiss, and went away.
More time passed, and then a third lady came over.
“Tell me, young man, have you ever been f*cked?”
Once more, Ahmad shook his head.
She replied, “Well, you will be when this tide comes in”.